I’m still stuck spinning my wheels (mentally speaking). I have so many things that I kind of want to do but when I think about doing any of them, I just .. don’t. Or I don’t have the right inspiration when I do.
Still pondering a new site design. This is something that I get the itch to do every few months or years. Every time I do it, I end up going through miles of site templates that all kind of look the same but better than anything I can do (probably because they’re actually finished more than anything). So far, I have a color palette? I think?
It’s a little more pastel than I usually like, but it’s appealing to me right now. I’ve been trying to embrace pink as a color. I spent most of my life feeling like girly things were bad, and pink pretty definitely fell into that category. But “girly things are bad” is pretty shitty and misogynistic, much like my old “I’m not like the other girls” bullshit, so I’m trying to get over it. Pink is difficult because my mom pushed it on me so much and because my husband lived in a house where everything was a particular shade of pink for a while right after his parents got divorced (it’s understandably not a happy color for him). But we’ve determined that pinks like the one above don’t bother him, and I like it because it’s more .. light red..than a sweet, sugary, fairy pink? Which is stupid, but whatever, I like it.
All that said, I’m unsure how I’ll actually end up using it. I keep waffling between “clean but bold” and “light and breezy”. Eventually I’ll settle on something, hopefully. Or at least throw a mock-up together. Or something. It’s kind of sad how badly my skills erode every time I take a break. I wonder if I would enjoy it more if I didn’t have to relearn half of what I know every time I pick it back up again. It’s kind of like The Wheel of Time – I enjoyed it all okay the first time I read most of the books, but because I reread them all every time a new one came out, I was so thoroughly sick of the story and couldn’t help but pick out all the annoying flaws that I gave up right smack in the middle.
Anyway. I don’t know if it’s really helping me to write out how I’m feeling like this, but it means that I have accomplished something when my brain gets like this, so I guess that’s not nothing. It’s not much, but it’s something.
Today has been one of those days where I’m restless and want to do something, but I just don’t know what. Setting up this site re-ignited my interest in web design, even though I think I’m pretty happy with the current theme – I’m not going to be doing much with this blog aside from writing, so I don’t need anything fancy. Nevertheless, I started looking into doing theme development and re-discovered the rabbit hole that is web design in 2019.
I’m used to using Sass, a CSS pre-processor that lets you do design a bit more programmatically, so I tried to install that. The installer politely informed me that “Ruby Sass” was end of life (!!!) and that the new version was now “Dart Sass” (!?!). What? So then I had to figure out how to install that and update my path and everything. But I finally figured all that out, yay me.
Another tool that I was really accustomed to was cloud9, a in-browser development IDE and server container. It was awesome! You could make a new instance as much as you wanted, with a number of different flavors for the OS and installed languages. You could clone other instances, so once you got one setup with all the dependencies that you wanted, you could just start with that instance and go from there. It was amazing. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that it got bought out by Amazon, but here we are. It still exists, but now it lives in Amazon AWS, which is.. a huge convoluted dumpster fire that really deserves its own post. The best thing about cloud9 was that it pretty much removed most of the “dev-ops” requirement of coding (wherein you had to know how to setup a server and a database, etc., just to get started). And now most of it is still like that, but like.. you’re in AWS! Which is huge and terrifying and has way too many moving parts and what if I fuck up and run my charges up to some massive amount accidentally? AHHHHH.
As if all of that wasn’t enough, I don’t even know what I want to do! I like this theme. I like other themes with a fixed left side-bar or background. I like minimalist fonts and fancy fonts and bright colors and subtle colors and special effects and simplicity and it’s just infuriating. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, BRAIN??? JUST PICK SOMETHING ALREADY. >.<
So instead, I came here to bitch. Maybe I’ll still try to make something, I don’t know. I should be doing work, but instead I’m trying to resurrect an all-but-dead skill with no goal or direction or anything beyond “that sounds fun” or “this could be better”. *sigh*