I play Final Fantasy 14, an MMO based in the Final Fantasy universe. I love this game. I’ve played through the story 5 times, even though the game lets you level up multiple jobs on a character, which mostly removes the need for “alts”. But the story is great and the gameplay is fun and really, I just love it.

However, every time I try to play a “tank” character, I freak out, get too afraid to actually queue for dungeons, and then I quit playing it. And it’s so stupid. I did a dungeon today where our tank did almost nothing. They ran to the next group of mobs and pulled one, but they never did any AOE threat, never responded to any chat messages, just.. I half think that they must have been a bot, because surely no actual person could be that terrible, right? Anyway, we made it through the dungeon anyway, even though it was annoying.

So, if rando bot person can tank, why can’t I? I know I can do better than that. Actually, I’m pretty sure I can do just fine, but my brain gets skeered and I’m afraid people will be mean to me, and it’s ridiculous. I’m a good player, for the most part. I’m not perfect, and I don’t always optimize the best, but I do my job the best I can and obviously that is good enough according to the game. Why can’t I get over this stupid anxiety?