I’m still stuck spinning my wheels (mentally speaking). I have so many things that I kind of want to do but when I think about doing any of them, I just .. don’t. Or I don’t have the right inspiration when I do.

Still pondering a new site design. This is something that I get the itch to do every few months or years. Every time I do it, I end up going through miles of site templates that all kind of look the same but better than anything I can do (probably because they’re actually finished more than anything). So far, I have a color palette? I think?

It’s a little more pastel than I usually like, but it’s appealing to me right now. I’ve been trying to embrace pink as a color. I spent most of my life feeling like girly things were bad, and pink pretty definitely fell into that category. But “girly things are bad” is pretty shitty and misogynistic, much like my old “I’m not like the other girls” bullshit, so I’m trying to get over it. Pink is difficult because my mom pushed it on me so much and because my husband lived in a house where everything was a particular shade of pink for a while right after his parents got divorced (it’s understandably not a happy color for him). But we’ve determined that pinks like the one above don’t bother him, and I like it because it’s more .. light red..than a sweet, sugary, fairy pink? Which is stupid, but whatever, I like it.

All that said, I’m unsure how I’ll actually end up using it. I keep waffling between “clean but bold” and “light and breezy”. Eventually I’ll settle on something, hopefully. Or at least throw a mock-up together. Or something. It’s kind of sad how badly my skills erode every time I take a break. I wonder if I would enjoy it more if I didn’t have to relearn half of what I know every time I pick it back up again. It’s kind of like The Wheel of Time – I enjoyed it all okay the first time I read most of the books, but because I reread them all every time a new one came out, I was so thoroughly sick of the story and couldn’t help but pick out all the annoying flaws that I gave up right smack in the middle.

Anyway. I don’t know if it’s really helping me to write out how I’m feeling like this, but it means that I have accomplished something when my brain gets like this, so I guess that’s not nothing. It’s not much, but it’s something.